Who or what can be your teacher?

Yes, it doesn’t only need to be a human being;
your body’s capabilities can be your teacher, an injury can be a very potent teacher, your feelings and emotions can be your teacher – and as we reflected about in my last contemplation, your questions can be an excellent teacher for your individual path.

But let’s focus on a human teacher.

• Who is YOUR teacher?

• How should YOUR teacher be?

• What qualities does a teacher need to be YOUR teacher?

Finding a teacher can be a journey of several trials, which may scare you to embark on – and I fully feel you, lovely YOU.

YOUR IDEAL TEACHER

A teacher can open up a whole formerly unknown world for you, opening doors you didn’t even know were there.

That’s why we often have an exceptional relationship with our teachers.
From our school days, we are used to working for positive feedback from our teachers, recognition, appreciation, good grades, and little stars.
Well, I was like that; I have always been very ambitious and hungry for acknowledgement and recognition.

I am still working on liberating myself from that conditioning.

The fear of not being good enough and meeting your weaknesses might block your drive for exploring yoga or any other [not only] physical activities. And therefore, it is so crucial that YOUR teacher speaks the same language as you – movement-wise and in regards to your values. They should guide you within the physical capabilities of your body.

You should feel good after your practice, not miserable – neither physical nor emotional.

Of course, yoga can bring up many, many old emotions that may remind you of your old wounds. That indeed is the transformative aspect of yoga: Those old emotions and wounds pop up in your consciousness to be digested, released and healed.

Your teacher should provide the necessary tools to support you going through difficult periods in your practice. They should have something to tell you, something that makes it easier to step down into the basement of your subconsciousness to be rebirthed and rise like a phoenix from the ashes. So, in my opinion, an essential quality of YOUR teacher is to take your hand while you walk through this process.

When looking for YOUR teacher, see whether they match your physical, emotional, and mental needs. Check out your teacher’s values. Are they matching yours? Do you want to develop in the direction of your teacher?

Of course, you can make some compromises; for example, if you want to improve your physical abilities, you may choose a teacher who has those qualities to train your body. And this may be okay for some time.

WHAT IF YOU WANT MORE

Though, if you want more, if you desire growth in other aspects of your life and want to grow as a complete human being – in other words, human maturation – you may be very picky in the way you select YOUR teacher.

Perhaps this is a need that might develop over the time of your practice. First, you may want to train your body only, and over time, you become gradually more interested in the mental aspects of your practice.

Be radically honest with yourself.
How do you feel when you step off your mat?
Does your current teacher serve your needs?

This doesn’t necessarily mean that your practise should be easy. Many lessons are challenging.

To me, the important question is whether your teacher is able to guide you through your challenges so that you never feel abandoned.
Do they really care for YOU?

Currently, you may have a teacher you once felt very aligned with. They taught you many precious lessons, and you thought this was YOUR teacher forever.

Your experience on the mat changes – that is completely normal. You change and your teacher changes. Over time, you may slightly feel a discrepancy in their teaching. And at some point, this former perfect match doesn’t match anymore.

You may have outgrown your teacher.

And that may be a scary revelation as you feel as though losing orientation. I fully understand those feelings….

I felt guilty when I had to admit that things just weren’t right with my yoga teacher and me anymore. I couldn’t and didn’t want to follow her any longer. I felt like I was neglecting an essential part of myself to get along with her. Likewise, I kept trying to get her appreciation and recognition - a toxic constellation…

Last year in spring, I took the first step to detach myself from her. However, I was not consistent and still used her yoga videos every now and then.

In one of my recent blog posts, I told you that I started adding Pilates to my yoga practice. This took it to a remarkably fresh level. After years of ineffective approaches without significant changes, old injuries have almost disappeared, for which I am tremendously grateful.

CHANGING YOUR TEACHER

Though last week, I did yoga with my “old” teacher again. Immediately, I had another strain and that well-known pain in my hamstrings.
I was so frustrated.

Although being annoyed about myself, I suddenly realised that it happened because of my teacher’s teaching style. It just didn’t fit my body and me anymore. Eventually, I had to admit that I haven’t fully let her go because I had set up a perfidious self-affirmation mechanism. A reward mechanism to confirm to me that I was good enough...

Instantly, I decided to close the last door, cut the last connection, and I cancelled all memberships and newsletters to prevent myself from practising with her again.

My feelings in this whole process were not rational. It was as though being in a love relationship. I struggled with myself because of having these thoughts.

Am I allowed to think this way about my teacher,
-who had taught me so much?
-Who had taken me as a yoga teacher to a whole new level?
-Who had taught me priceless lessons about myself and revealed a whole new style of yoga? Beautiful, flowing and feminine.

I had practised Ashtanga yoga before, a very masculine type of yoga. My teacher’s playful style was like a balm for my body those days.

But her style changed, and I changed.

I just had to admit that to myself. And I was no longer prepared to tolerate the pain in my body, which continuously made me believe I was just not capable nor good enough. My body was too stiff. I had to practise more to keep up. Or show more humility during the time of growth.
No healthy “truths”...

Staying committed to yourself and living an authentic life requires you to be honest even in those moments.

The question is, how can you continue in your practice without your teacher?

First of all, your practice doesn’t depend on a teacher in general. You don’t necessarily need a teacher to have a meaningful practice. I encourage you to liberate yourself from this belief.

If you truly feel uncomfortable with your current teacher, leave them behind you. Quit. Cancel your memberships or what is needed to close the door. If you cling to your teacher, you won’t find a new one that matches more.

If you feel like you can write a farewell letter to your teacher to express your gratitude for everything they taught you – or tell it to them personally. Acknowledge your time together and everything you learned. Validate this – even if you may feel frustrated about them at this moment.

Don’t just run away. Take a moment to finish this relationship in dignity.

CONTINUE WITH WHAT YOU KNOW

And then, try to stick to your rhythm. If you have practised once a week – continue. If you have practised every day – continue. Just repeat what you have learned.

To me, it has been highly beneficial during the time when I didn’t have a teacher to train my body through pure Pilates exercises. Indeed, this was what my body prepared for the next teacher. I was physically fit.

And for my mental practice – I have already established my very individual routine. I don’t need a teacher regularly anymore. I kept on attending random workshops and festivals or joining a mental teacher class I once followed very closely.

Try what feels right for you. It is your practice. And it is your well-being.

Stay open. Try other teachers. But take this easy. Just explore what feels right. And then suddenly, you will instantly know who your next teacher will be.

You will simply know.

BRIGHT PROSPECTS

After I had closed the last door, it was as if a vacuum had occurred, into which new impulses instantly rushed in. I had finally created the space for the new thing I had longed for.

• In a newsletter, the studio where I had already taken several trainings, including my first yoga teacher training, announced new courses to become a Pilates teacher.

• Although I subscribed to her newsletter, I skipped many of her announced Zoom classes. Except for this Sunday; I finally attended a yoga class* with a new teacher who teaches beautiful dance-like yoga classes. From minute 1 of her class, I knew I wanted to do and teach this style of yoga. It was an epiphany to me.

Suddenly I knew crystal clear where I wanted to go.

I was extremely excited - and profoundly grateful.

On Monday, I signed up for the Pilates teacher training and the Inside Flow Yoga teacher training which I will be completing until July 2022.

FACIT

You are no longer at school, and you get to choose your teacher.
That also includes the fact that you can leave a teacher with whom you no longer get along, even though/precisely because she has taught you important lessons about yourself and life...

*The price for the zoom class was 12$ - on the day of my booking for the exchange rate of exactly 11,11€...

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